I was back by about seven thirty. Mom must have heard me come in and called to me from her bedroom, asking me to come in there with her. She was sitting on the edge of her bed, wearing a dress, which was unusual. She’s the jeans type of mom. I didn’t make anything of it at the time, but she was wearing makeup and perfume too. She patted the bed next to her and asked me to sit next to her.“Chris, I wanted to talk to you about Nicole. You are having sex with her, aren’t you?”I started to say something, what I’m not sure, but nothing came out.“I’m not mad,” she continued.”You’re nineteen and certainly old enough. I just want to know.”“Yeah,” I answered, not really knowing what to expect.“You are being safe? She’s using birth control?”“Yes,” Oh, God, this was the talk. I’d been through this with Dad four years ago. It was awkward then. This was going to be worse, because it was my Mom.“Good. You know you can always talk to me about these things.”“I know that.” Of course I couldn’t talk. Quite the contrary, my requests are always sotto voce and mild and totally within the bounds of normal parenting. I learned years ago that the quieter I am the more effective I am. So there is never, no matter the behavior, never a raised voice or threat from me. I never 'ground' Muriel, never spank her, never do anything other than to let her know that some behaviors are not acceptable, or that actions have consequences and here are the current consequences to her behaviors. Ganda is fully in support of my parenting and she backs me up completely. In some ways Ganda is far harder on Muriel than I am on the child...As she approaches her thirteenth birthday the flirting behavior gets more intense. The need for my approval gets stronger. Her need for physical contact grows. I keep it in the safe zone, but she is wanting core physical contact. She is competing with four women, all of whom have access to my bed and use that access. And at the same time all the hormones that create sexual.
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